Battle with anger: motivation and destruction

Anger is an emotion characterized by antagonism toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong.

Anger is a two-way feeling, meaning, someone or something must have triggered you to feel it. You develop anger for someone when you think you are deliberately attacked, physical or emotional, or when something is not aligned to your beliefs and you can’t accept the fact. We also get easily angered when we’re stressed.

Back then, I easily get angry when I’m being bothered intentionally or without prior notice. As much as possible, I want to maintain focus into whatever I am doing. I also get easily angered when I don’t get exactly what I expected or my plans for something for example are put aside without taking it into full consideration.

Sometimes, we feel angry too upon knowing we’re wrong, and this anger is directed toward ourselves. I felt this then every time I do something I know was wrong or I’ve defended something or someone that ended up wrong.

Basically, we tend to get angry when we feel like we are unjustifiably attacked, when we could’ve done better to change the course of something of big impact to our lives and/or when we think something is definitely wrong and people who have control of the situation aren’t doing something to address it. When there is a disastrous event which could’ve been prevented by making timely and relevant decisions in the past, we feel angry that it happened.

Anger can be a good thing. It can give you a way to express negative feelings or motivate you to find solutions to problems.

It is important that we rid these negative feelings inside us. Like with sadness, we cry to let go of the pain even just temporarily, it has to be done also with anger. We need to release it to ease the tension boiling inside. If you harbour such for a long time inside you, it will consume you in the end. So, better let go. It is part of a healthy life to express anger when necessary.

You are human so don’t go on trying to be perfect. Release what’s needed to be released.

Anger can also help on finding solutions to your problems or even for other’s. When you’re angry, you definitely hate something about your situation and that would be your motivation to start changing it for your own good. You start thinking and doing ways to escape out of that part of your life.

As anger can be healthy, excessive anger can cause problems. Increased blood pressure and other physical changes associated with anger make it difficult to think straight and harm your physical and mental health.

This is exactly what happens when we begin to harbour anger inside us and allow this negative feeling to stay and consume us gradually. This anger grows until we no longer have the strength to control or suppress it. It then become excessive.

The result?

We fall under the control of anger once it consumed us full.

We end up doing things out of our control such as hurting someone physically, throwing hurtful words to someone or even to our loved ones, and we push people away.

In my case, I collected each little anger I felt for people and like money, I saved them inside me until I couldn’t control them and finally explode.  I initially thought this will help. But it was damaging both mentally and emotionally. I pushed my friends away, even those who intended to show their love to me. I was a mess.

But my mother was there. She stayed by my side, listened to my problems and cheered me up whenever I feel down. She was my therapist. I was able to fight the battle with anger because she was there replacing each little pieces of hatred with her genuine love.

With her help, I was able to use anger as a motivation to prove myself. I transformed the negative feelings into positive by making them the main source of my strength. It was the rebellion I mentioned in one of my other blog posts.

When she left, I was so down. I gathered all the negative feelings again, allowed them to consume me but used them this time as a motivation too. The successes I’ve achieved to date, substantially, was a product of the anger I harboured in my heart for a long time.

And then I woke up one day, to my surprise, I have already released the excessive anger inside me. It felt like it went out of my being naturally. However, I also like to think that it was the people whom I met in my journey that helped me, unintentionally and unknowingly, get rid of all the negative emotions I have for the people who once hurt me.

All those motivational anger and feelings of revenge for people was gone. All I have left for them is gratitude for I am thrilled and thankful to have reach my dreams because of them. I have no ill will against them anymore nor I still intend to give the pain back to them. I am cleansed and renewed and all I ever have for people now is sympathy and respect.

I was not able to receive basic respect and inspiration during my greatest journey and I had to create my own to be able to continue, that is why I want to give it to people at zero cost.

The feeling of anger is both comforting and corrupting. Expressing it regularly is healthy for your soul but collecting pieces of it is a peril in the making.

Learn to express your negative emotions responsibly without prejudice to persons around you. Make yourself available to acknowledge that you are not perfect and these emotions are essential to your being.

Let’s not fall into the trap of hatred or getting even.

Hate is a very powerful word so let’s spread love instead.

___

Photo provided by pexels.

Reference:

http://www.apa.org/topics/anger/index.aspx

any comments, suggestions, corrections, issues, or concerns. please send a message.

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